Is Wrong a Feeling?
I'd like to make a distinction between thoughts and feelings. I was just having one of those philosophical and heated arguments with someone.
It has long been a practice for me to state the behavior followed by the experience I get from it; i.e. "When X happens I feel ..." I have been working with this principle for some time now. I got it from the book: "Non-violent communication" I really DO try and communicate that way.
And even though I recognize that others do not have the same love for communication techniques as I do, it still drives me crazy that the average person takes it personal or think what I have shared "also must mean" that they are wrong. One might say, "I feel like your saying I am wrong" to which I reply, wrong is not how you FEEL. It is what you have decided it must mean about you.
Maybe one day there will come a time when our automatic response to people addresses the originating statement. It's kind of like when you program a website. You have tags. They have a syntax that they must follow, you open a tag; like this: <p> and you close a tag; like this: </p> Your <p> tag stays open if you try and close it with something like <b>. This makes no sense to you at all if you haven't looked at source code.
It would be interesting if we could think of communication like a clean piece of html code. Open the communication with a feeling, close the feeling by addressing it. Open the communication with a thought, close the thought by addressing the thought. Don't just leave it all messy.
Well, this was just some random thoughts I was having while taking a little break from, guess what, redesigning my website. LOL!
Hi Victoria,
RochI think that we has hypnotists/communicators all suffer from the same case of terminal honesty.
I know that there are times it seems like I have no filter between what is going on in my head and what comes out of my mouth.
In Session, I think this serves me well, in life sometimes it doesn't.
One of my favorite books: one that I have read several times is "The Four Agreement" by Don Miguel Ruiz.
The very first agreement is and I am quoting him directly
"Be Impeccable With Your Word...Speak with ingegrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love"
The thing is if we (everyone) could just be impeccable with our words imaging how much easier everything would be!
By the way the second Agreement is "Don't Take Anything Personaly...Nothing you do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream, When you are immune tothe opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering" The other two agreements are as simple and as profound. If you have not read this book I can tell from what you wrote, that it's right up your alley. You know that filters do have their place, but honestly sometimes really I wish that nobody had them.
08:52 AM CST